


Lonely

by himekohimura



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I'm Going To Hell For This, M/M, friendship!adommy, post saulbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himekohimura/pseuds/himekohimura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The house feels strangely empty now that there is only him residing there. He wonders if it'll ever feel like home again, really. It feels like the walls are moving in as he throws his bag down onto the plush couch, a favorite of his other half. </i>
</p><p>  <i>Sauli used to greet him from it after a long day of recording. It aches to think that he's not going to anymore, so Adam doesn't. <i></i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing where Tommy comes and comforts his best friend after the breakup. Probably too soon, but I don't want to lose this to the back of my harddrive. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be murdered by an entire ship base. I write when I'm feeling sad and this is what happened. Guh.

The house feels strangely empty now that there is only him residing there. He wonders if it'll ever feel like home again, really. It feels like the walls are moving in as he throws his bag down onto the plush couch, a favorite of his other half.

Sauli used to greet him from it after a long day of recording. It aches to think that he's not going to anymore, so Adam doesn't.

He ventures into the kitchen, where Adam made failed brownies with him once, thoughts of the subsequent brownie dough fight bringing a bittersweet smile to his face.

Yeah, he's still friends with Sauli, but it doesn't mean the memories of them together as a couple are gone at all. Doesn't mean it won't hurt thinking of them. Of what they might have been if they hadn't drifted apart like they did.

They had been a good match, him and Adam. Sauli understood what it was to be a celebrity. What it was to be apart from the people they loved. But maybe that wasn't enough. Not for their relationship, at least.

He was still staring at the counter where they had their last talk as a couple when the doorbell rang.

Visitors, at this hour? A part of him thought instantly of Sauli, though it couldn't be because Sauli still had a key.

Adam warily made his way to the door. Though he was certain his security was tight enough to ward off unwanted visitors, he still had no idea who it could be. Had to be someone with his gate code or they couldn’t get anywhere close to his door.

A glance at our the window soothed his thoughts and he swung the door open with a grin. "What brings you so far away from your batcave, my pretty little kitty?"

Tommy blinks up at him with an annoyed frown. Even though Tommy is fully aware of his stature, being called little was an easy way to get him riled up. "It's cold outside let me in," Tommy says instead of the retort Adam was expecting. With a slight furrow to his brow, Adam stepped aside to let his guitarist in.

Tommy wandered into the living room, hesitating slightly at the couch, before shrugging and sprawling himself all over the thing, kicking Adam’s bag to the ground. Adam raised an eyebrow at Tommy's relaxing state. "So...you've come over to, what? Lie on my couch?"

"Post tour syndrome." Tommy flipped him the bird only because he could, a grin lighting up his face when he spots the empty Velvet Goldmine DVD case on the coffee table. "I actually came over to watch a movie with you because I'm bored and you are obviously here for my entertainment." Tommy grabbed the remote to turn on the TV as Adam blinked at him.

Adam is suspicious. Tommy doesn’t do things like show up unannounced. Well, he’ll at least text first. Or DM using Twitter to make sure that Adam is home first. "Did Sauli call you?" he asks even though he’s certain of it.

Tommy doesn't look up from the remote as he tries to remember how to switch over the TV from cable to DVD player. "It's been so long since I've played with your complicated ass TV that I've forgotten how to use it."

"Tommy." Adam’s tone is warning.

"We can watch something else if you want? Should I make popcorn?" Tommy stands and attempts to brush by Adam, intent on getting to the safety of the kitchen but Adam is having none of that. He grabs Tommy by the sleeve, catching Tommy's eyes with his. "Adam--"

"Answer me," Adam grinds out.

Tommy stares back at Adam with equal intensity before he sighs, relenting. "He thought that coming home to an empty house might be daunting for you and he didn't know who else to call. Calling Cheeks or Drake would be out of the question since being welcomed into the 'ex' club so soon after the break up might be a bit too much for him, I think." Tommy shrugs, brushing back his bangs like he does when he’s nervous or anxious. "And I guess I was the only one of your friends he thought could handle this best. You know, without being over dramatic or something."

Adam had to agree with that last point. His friends were all quite dramatic. And dealing with a breakup with an ex is just...yeah, no. He is going to tell everyone soon. Maybe tomorrow. And he already knows there's going to be a shit storm with both his friends and the media.

It's a tribute to their ended relationship and continued friendship that the first person that Sauli calls to help mend his ex-boyfriend’s somewhat broken heart is the only person who really could do it. Despite the fact that he hasn't known Tommy for as long as he has others, Tommy was the person he's become the closest to. And Sauli knows that. Of course he does. They were together for close to three years. Sauli probably knew him better than he knew himself.

His heart ached a bit at the thought. Their breakup had been drama free, yes, but god did he still feel like Sauli should be here in his arms.

"Sit down." Tommy pushes him toward the couch and slaps the remote into his hand. "I'm making popcorn and you're gonna watch our favorite movie together with me."

They settled down into their usual routine, even though they haven’t done this in months. Tommy was a constant even when Sauli was around and they would get together to watch movies all the time. Sometimes Sauli would join them, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes Tommy would bring someone along.

It’s the first time Tommy has been here when Adam has been depressed and Adam feels awkward for some reason. He keeps glancing over at Tommy as the movie progresses, watching the other as he watches the movie. Watching as Tommy eats the popcorn messily, dropping some of it on the couch and floor. Watching as Tommy sees him watching and smiles in that way only Tommy can.

He doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it’s the movie, with Curt and Brian kissing, or maybe it’s the acute loneliness after a breakup, no matter how amicable it is, that’s finally starting to settle in. Maybe it’s because Tommy reminds him of Sauli in small ways. Or maybe it’s because he hasn’t kissed Tommy in years and he misses the taste of the guitarist’s lips. No matter what it was, Adam finds himself attacking Tommy’s mouth, pushing the smaller man down into the couch, silencing any protests with his tongue and teeth. Tommy’s hands come up to push him away. “Adam--” he tries, but Adam won’t have any of that. He grabs Tommy by the wrists and holds them up and out of the way, pinning the smaller against the arm of the couch, devouring and dominating in the way he doesn’t do to Tommy. Not like this. Not in private. Not...

Not in the way he used to do with Sauli.

It’s like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on his head and he jerks away, pushing himself to the other side of the couch, an expression of horror on his face as he stares at what he’s done. Tommy lies there panting, out of breath and looking ravaged. His shirt is pushed up where it caught on Adam’s buttons and rhinestones and his arms are still above his head as if he forgot that they’re no longer being pinned.

The look of shock on Tommy’s face resonates with Adam and he’s spewing out apologies and excuses and--god, Adam’s _crying_. There are tears falling down his face and he doesn’t even know where they’re coming from. He’s not sad about the break-up. He’s thirty one fucking years old and he can handle a fucking break-up and if anything _Tommy_ should be the one crying and hitting him because Adam’s done a terrible thing and took advantage of his friend and Adam feels horrible because he wants to do it again if only because it felt better than the ache that’s growing inside of him and why is Tommy not freaking out? Why are there thin arms wrapping around him and bringing him into a tight embrace?

“Adam, it’s okay. I get it.” Tommy holds him as Adam ruins his shirt with his unexpected tears, clinging to the other as he cries out his sorrows. He knows that he doesn’t really want Sauli back, not right now. But it hurts not having him here in the home that’s more ‘their’s’ and not ‘his’. Maybe in the future, when things are settled they could reconcile and maybe get back together again. He hopes so because Sauli was...Sauli. Adorable and perfect. But they’re not compatible right now and it’s breaking his heart just a bit to think about it. He might show the world a grin but in his own space he feels lonely. So freaking lonely.

Tommy pats his back sympathetically, soothing the tears away. “Just...Just let it out.” Adam chokes on a laugh at the cliche line and he can feel Tommy’s grin against his shoulder. “Shut up. I don’t know how to deal with crying people.”

“Sorry,” Adam sniffs, pulling away slightly. “I ruined your shirt.”

“Nothing to ruin, really. I hate this shirt,” Tommy shrugs, not letting Adam move away from him. It _is_ an ugly shirt. He wonders why he didn’t realize that he’d let Tommy in wearing that. When he relays his thoughts to Tommy, they laugh together and some of the tension disappates.

Adam wipes his eyes with his sleeve. “Adam...” Tommy looks unsure. “You...” There’s an awkward pause.

“I’m not sorry I kissed you,” Adam says quietly into the silence between them. “Because I’ll never be sorry for any of our kisses. Even if this one was ill-timed, ill-advised, and pretty much just me being a lonely queen thinking I can mack on my very kissable best friend.”

Tommy’s expression melts into a smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, you know that,” Tommy says in the way that he’s done a million times since the beginning of their relationship. It’s a comforting line though Adam wonders when he’ll push the line from ‘whatever’ to ‘no way in hell’. Like today. He wishes that Tommy wouldn’t allow him to get away with so much sometimes. “I _do_ think that it’s too soon for you to be kissing other people. Especially me.”

“Why especially you?”

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Because you know me and we're like, really good friends. And you also know that kissing me is like a rebound and you so do not need a rebound right now.”

“You would never be a rebound to me,” Adam says with complete conviction, because it's true. “I love you too much for that.”

Tommy laughs. “But still. You shouldn’t. You’re still hurt over the break-up--”

“It wasn’t like we weren’t already heading towards that,” Adam points out. “We were just... elongating the inevitable at this point.”

"You loved him though, didn't you?"

Adam makes a face. "Of course I did. I still do."

"And like Brad and Drake, you'll probably continue to love him," Tommy shrugs, leaning forward to rest his forhead on Adam’s forehead. He frowns after a moment. “I seriously need to take pointers from you. You’re like, friends with all of your exes and all of mine just want my head on a platter. How the hell do you do this?”

Adam chuckles. “I don’t know, I try not to piss off girls during their period?”

“That was one time and I didn’t even know she was PMS’ing,” Tommy pulls away from Adam to slap him on the shoulder playfully. “How do girls even expect us to know? Should we keep a diary?”

“That might help,” Adam shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know anything about girls, though. Being gay does have it’s perks, I guess.”

Tommy laughs. “I guess it does.” He slings his arm around Adam’s shoulders and unexpectedly brings him close for a closed mouth kiss on the corner of Adam’s lips. Tommy withdraws from Adam’s personal space with a smile, reaching for the remote. “Now where were we before you were so mesmerized by my beauty that you had to fucking pin me to a couch?”

Adam groans, flopping backward and settling back into his seat. “I’m not going to live that one down, am I?”

“Nope,” Tommy says gleefully, finding the Curt/Brian kiss and starting from there. "Now shut up and watch the movie. If you kiss me again, I am so kicking you in the balls and calling HR to report sexual harrasment.”

“Like your legs are long enough to reach my balls in the first place,” Adam teases back, enjoying the banter, only to get a fistful of popcorn thrown into his face.

Maybe home will feel like home again one day, but it definitely helps to have friends around, Adam thinks, even if they were dwarves that threw popcorn into his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> *prepares to be murdered*


End file.
